So I was totally the fat kid in gym class. You know, the kids who have no natural athletic ability and are always picked last. The one who is always out first in dodgeball, and really when you're a large slow target I don't blame the other kids. The only saving grace for me was there was a girl who was in my class some years who was the same size as me, but her last name was Butt. Then she was the last kid picked.
Why am I blogging about this? Because last night I totally had to relive my elementary school gym class days. See I agreed to go to a bowling league even though I sucked at bowling. I was told that no one would really be paying attention and not everyone is that good anyway. So there I am, doing my thing and feeling pretty good since I was bowling my best game ever, and I'm watching other people's techniques and stuff when someone comes up to me and says "It's ok, I'm bowling really bad tonight too". In my head I was like "what the hell..." so that totally crushed my bowling high, but I held on a little hope. Then I realized, indeed people are watching you...they're all standing in a row in the back watching...totally made my anxiety worse.
So the first game finishes and I got a score of 104 which is the highest I've ever gotten. Then I looked at everyone else's scores and realized how low mine was. That crushed my high a little more. Then we're a few frames into the second game and the same person comes up and says "(insert husbands name) and I don't care that you're not good". And I was mortified. More embarassed than I really have been since the UDA conference. I realized I had to bowl the ball like 32 more times, and it then was my goal to get up, bowl as fast as I could, and sit down trying to disappear.
I was so embarassed that I literally got sick to my stomach somewhere in the third game and had to go to the bathroom where I barely made it in time to throw up. I half was tempted to call my mom to rescue me but I stuck it out. Then I realized i was totally the biggest girl there (well at least within like 4 ish lanes cause i couldn't see past that), well there was someone my size but she's like 5 or 6 inches taller so she looked way skinnier, and I wanted to disappear more. I was the fat girl in gym class again...well this time it was a bowling alley.
To top it off, the whole ride home I had to fight back tears, which just resulted in a runny nose which made my throat hurt worse.
Needless to say...I'm never bowling again. Or at least til I'm stupid enough to try it again but it definitely will not be in front of other people.
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