Growing up is never easy...

I decided tonight that as much as I want to be a grown-up and on my own, that sometimes it really just stinks. I didn't get the job with the Milwaukee Brewers, and I know I said I was just grateful that out of 300 people who applied I got one of 8 interviews, but it still makes me sad. My poor mother has to deal with me after these things, and after my mini-meltdown earlier she gave me a super sweet card and a gerbera daisy from the pink gerbera daisy plant she grew. It was so sweet and I realized how lucky I am for such a great mom as well as a great dad. I have all these hobbies started like sewing another apron, learning the guitar, helping out with the Susan G. Komen walk and the Make-a-Wish run for Wishes, but none of them are filling this void I apparently have. Meeting and hanging out with Brian has been so beneficial though because he definitely has helped fill a large part of that. He's so great and I honestly wish I knew what I did to be able to meet such a great guy. He's so great that I'm hanging out with him on the 2nd despite the fact that Breaking Dawn comes out that day and I have a pre-ordered copy at Barnes and Noble.

I realized that more than anything I'm scared. There are so many changes that have happened to me this summer, and there are more changes to come I'm sure. For one I'm going to Mass on Sunday for the first time in over 5 years. The last time I went I dropped the wafer or whatever its called and got chastised in front of everyone for dropping the body of Christ and how would I feel if I was carrying Jesus and dropped him in real life. And I thought going to the Mormon church was scary...however, I do know going to church again will be beneficial for me. That does not decrease its scariness level though. I am really excited to go back to the Catholic Church, and I even talked about going to confirmation classes tonight with my Mom, that is if I can find the right Catholic Church to attend permanently. Thats the one thing that I adore about the church, you can pick where you go and no one tells you where to go. It always bugged me that you're just supposed to fit and feel comfortable where you're told to go in the Mormon Church. I never fit in where I was told to go ha ha so maybe thats the problem. I don't really want to go back to St. John Neumann. It was a good church to grow up in as a kid, and its where I learned to love singing, but once I got to be a teenager it wasn't the place for me. The one thing that makes me sad about Mass is they hardly EVER sing all the verses to songs, and usually my favorite ones are skipped. However, I'm saying this now, if the song that was sung at Steele's funeral is one of the hymns I am out of there. Then again, Brian is the one taking me to church so that might not work out so well for me...thats ok I'll steal the keys! I'm glad that he is religious (and I know you read this mister, so :P I'm talking about you anyway) because even before I left Cedar I knew i needed to start going back to Mass, I just needed someone to jump start that I suppose. Besides I get to trounce around in a cute dress and who doesn't enjoy that?

This is getting a little too deep for a blog entry so I probably should end it. Only 16 more hours to wait!

60 Odd Things About Me :D

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? Nothing, because I don't have a car (yet...I'll get one hopefully next week, yay!)

2. When was the last time you threw up? New Years Eve 2004...food poisoning courtesy of the Water Street Brewery

3. What's your favorite curse word? I say Hell a lot...its the only Utah acceptable swear

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? My Mom, Brian, and comments from Lindsey!

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Sleeping

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Sitting on the couch

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? Sleeping I hope

8. Have you ever been to a strip club? That would be a no

9. What is the last thing you said aloud? Uh...roughly the equivalent of something to do with cars to my dad.

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? My absolute favorite would have to be Cherry Chocolate Chip (Farr ice cream, how I miss you...I need a Utah food fix)

11. What was the last thing you drank? Diet Coke.

13. What was the last thing you ate? Some cheddar Sun Chips

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? I got a Brewers t-shirt

15. When was the last time you ran? Good question, couldn't tell you. I gave up on my running goals. Major props to you runners because man I can't do it. Walking, rollerblading, and biking is more for me.

16. What's the last sporting event you watched? The Brewers game...they lost 7-1 to the cubs for the record

18. Who is the last person you emailed? Brian

19. Ever go camping? Not like real camping in a tent

20. Do you have a tan? I'm pretty pasty so that would be no

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw? YES! Aside from milk I can't drink anything without a straw, and even then I do enjoy drinking milk with a straw from a carton

25. What did your last IM say? something along the lines of goodnight :)

26. Are you someone's best friend? I don't think so honestly

27. What are you doing tomorrow? going on a walk and/or bike ride, getting all cute, going on a hot date with Brian to the Brewers vs. Cubs game (they better freaking win), and I hope eating a hot dog at the stadium because stadium sauce is amazing (its even better than fry sauce for all you Utahns)...oh wait i guess thats technically what i'm doing today since its 3:10 am...but still its tomorrow since I haven't gone to sleep yet.

28. Where is your mom right now? She's sleeping

29. Look to your left, what do you see? Everything in our living room.

30. What color is your watch? No watches here, I can't stand them

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia ? That I want to go there so badly!

32. Would you consider plastic surgery? I want to get my eyes fixed. I have TONS of lines around them (though they're there from smiling) and if I was 40 I wouldn't mind them. But I think at this age it just makes me look old

33. What is your birthstone? Pearl or alexandrite (which is rare which is why Pearl is there too)

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive-thru, fast food restaurants always creep me out inside

35.How many kids do you want? I want 3, give or take one in either direction

36. Do you have a dog? Awe no, but I want a mini yorkie!

37. Last person you talked to on the phone? I have absolutely no clue...probably someone calling for the person who used to have my phone number

38. Have you met anyone famous? Yeah I have, no one too exciting

39. Any plans today? Uh...see the question about what I'm doing tomorrow

40. How many states have you lived in? Two, Utah and Wisconsin

41. Ever go to college? for 6 years, I graduated, yay!

42. Where are you right now? in my living room

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? Not being able to find a freaking job, I'm so getting sick of not having a purpose and feeling like a failure

44. Last song listened to? Cowboy Take Me Away by the Dixie Chicks...I am so in love with this song the past few weeks

46. Are you allergic to anything? Amoxecillin (spelling?) and seasonal allergies

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? I love my moccasins by Bobbi Blu that are all crazy looking with a bow

48. Are you jealous of anyone? Yeah I am, but I try not to let it get to me

49. Is anyone jealous of you? I'm 24, unemployed, live at home, and have no car...I'm going to go with no on that one

50. What time is it? 3:14 am

52. Do any of your friends have children? Yes quite a few, and at least one person with one on the way, yay Jeff and Jenna!

53. Do you eat healthy? I try to, but lately I've been struggling. I am totally an emotional eater and since I sit around the house all day I eat all day too

54. What do you usually do during the day? Sit around the house looking for jobs

55. Do you hate anyone right now? maybe just a little, but it might just be intense dislike

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? at least once a day

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 25...yikes...time for a quarter life crisis...I should crisis about something good and like shave my head or run away, two things I never could do even if I wanted ha ha.

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Why yes! We live a little over an hour from Six Flags Great America! I've been there oh I'd say at least 8 times. I really want to go again so badly

60. How did you get one of your scars? I got the scar on my arm from fainting on a curling iron when I was a senior in high school, and then subsequently letting it get infected way bad.

I feel bad tagging specific people so again if you want to do this then go for it!

I passed!

Just a quick blog to say that i passed my drivers test, yay me :) I am now licensed to drive hooray! In Wisconsin you can lose up to 24 points on your test before you fail and you can lose points for a variety of things. Well I lost only 1 point, and its because I forgot to turn my lights off before we left the DMV (they check your lights, signals, horn, etc before you leave). Maybe he had pity on me because I was 24 instead of 16, but either way I was happy. I even parallel parked perfectly (and for the record I learned how to parallel park 30 minutes before my test ha ha), and the 3 people before me and the person after me all failed. The test guy even told my mom that I was an excellent driver and she had nothing to worry about.

To celebrate my mom took me to TGIFridays for lunch, and then bought me a new pair of sunglasses at the mall. I also got a Brewers t-shirt, which leads me to my next "present" you could say. The wonderfulness that is the person named Brian is being shown to me again! He's taking me to the Brewers game on Wednesday at Miller Park against the Cubs. The seats are all sold out so we have standing room only tickets, but personally thats just fine by me! I'm really excited for that!

Anyway I'm dead tired and so I'm going to go nap, I just thought I would update on that :D

Deutsch Macht Spass!

There I fulfilled my German usage for the year with the title of my blog. So i had the greatest weekend ever!!!! It started out on Friday going to the Dark Knight with Brian.

Oh wait first I should explain who Brian is...its definitely not my brother who is also named Brian. You see I met this kid and he's pretty awesome, and so we've been hanging out. I sure do like him a whole bunch, and he's probably the nicest kid I've ever been fortunate to go on a date with.

Anyway, on Friday we saw the Dark Knight and I'll be honest, I was kind of disappointed. It was good, don't get me wrong, but I think for me it didn't live up to the hype. Plus two-face grossed me out and made me nauseous the last half of the movie. Oh and the pencil thing, I won't even go there. The only good part was that I would owe you all M&M's if you lived here and played that game (PS Lindsey, I never got my double cheeseburger with you, I'll have to trek it out to Utah for it!). Afterwards we got Frostys from Wendys and it made me very nostalgic for Cedar. The last time I had a frosty float was after country dancing...the good old days indeed.

Saturday I got to go to Germanfest in Milwaukee. I have always wanted to go, and I went with Brian. It was a really good time overall, and I loved just walking around enjoying the sites. After that we got dinner at a yummy restaurant in downtown Milwaukee, and ate outside. I felt like I was in a movie ha ha since I had never done that before (eaten outside on the sidewalk tables that is). It made me realize how many things I miss about small town Utah though, like being able to cross the street whenever i wanted despite what the little crosswalk thing might tell me I should do. After hanging out for a while at Brian's law office (sadly we both live at home ha ha so privacy is an issue) watching the Brewers game and talking, we went to Perkins for dessert. Can I just say that after this night I realized Brian truly is the nicest guy ever :D ! I like being treated like a lady so it was a nice change of pace after being with Bill (which I never wrote about the end of that, but its irrelevant now).

Today I got to go to the zoo for my Mom's company picnic. I saw 4 grizzly bears mating with each other so that was kind of hilarious because the little boy next to us was like "daddy why are the bears fighting?"...ah yes the lesson on birds and the bees at age 4 ha ha, I felt bad for the dad. My brother and his girlfriend Liz came with us, and it was fun to hang out with them and gang up on my brother and pick on him.

Tomorrow I have to take my driver's test!!!!! I am so nervous (which could explain the incoherency of this blog) so if you read this before 2:20 CST on Monday the 28th, cross your fingers for me! I just pray I don't hit the curb and automatically fail the whole test...yikes!

Tagged again

I think: that Utah and Wisconsin should be closer together.

I know: many random facts about random topics

I want: to find my first full-time real grown-up job.

I have: way too much free time these days ha ha

I wish: that my life was the way I want it to be (aka I'm not a patient person ha ha)

I hate: seafood!

I miss: my friends in Utah, and Steele

I fear: that my mom or dad will die prematurely

I smell: my french onion sun chips! Yum!

I crave: french fries a lot of the time.

I search: for a purpose in my life

I wonder: where I actually will be in 5 years

I regret: giving up easily (this mostly pertains to a relationship or two)

I love: my family!

I care: about giving back in life more than I take

I always: am singing.

I am not: good at getting things done early. I can't function unless its under huge stress ha ha

I believe: that God has a plan for me and it will work out for the best in the end.

I dance: when no one is watching

I sing: all the time!

I don't always: live up to my potential

I write: in a paper journal sometimes

I lose: bobby pins, pony tail holders, and house keys (seriously, I lose keys the day after I get them)

I win: at cards and board games, I'm awesome

I never: want to go to another funeral for a child.

I listen: to country music!

I can usually be found: with a book in my hand, or singing

I am scared: of spiders!

I need: a job!

I am happy about: seeing Batman tonight!

I tag: anyone who wants to do this :) and reads my blog.

Ramblings

Today is my Mom and Dad's 34th wedding anniversary! Happy Anniversary to them! Seriously i love my parents, and they are so great at putting up with me and my many frustrations lately. I knew my Dad wanted to take my Mom out for dinner tonight, but I was invited along which was fun for me. We went to this place in Brookfield called Charcoal Grill, and though I didn't like my actual entree I LOVED the things I stole from my parents ha ha.

Other than that, my life is still boring. My driver's test got moved to the 28th due to a meeting being scheduled that my mom couldn't get out of. I'm ok with that, it gives me 4 extra days to practice, and I still can't parallel park.

I've been missing my friend Cecilia lately a lot because a few days ago I was cleaning out my e-mail address book and came across her address but couldn't bring myself to delete it. Cecilia and her family moved to America from Sweden when she was 8, and she was the sweetest girl ever. She was one of my closest friends in high school and the only reason I made it through organic chemistry our junior year. She kind of stayed around Waukesha when we graduated, and worked at Target with my brother so we kept in touch better than most. A year or so after we graduated she was diagnosed with brain cancer, and subsequently died almost 2 years ago (2 years this fall). The last time I was home that summer before she died she called me to do something but I didn't get the message til a few days later (thanks Verizon) and I never got to see her. I don't really know why i'm suddenly missing her, but at least I know she is in a better place doing amazing things I'm sure.

Another Goal Accomplished

So I have been spending WAY too much time on the computer, and so my goal was to only spend a certain amount of time on it a day. The only problem then was i found myself watching more TV which wasn't productive either. So then I decided to organize my room with some new storage bins and what not...and that was fun for a day or two. Plus i've been practicing driving so thats taken up a lot of time (My test is now on the 24th....Happy Pioneer Day Utah, and hopefully Happy Drivers License Day for me ha ha).

Then I decided I should brush up on my sewing skills, so I figured I'd start off with something simple...an apron. I came across a blog (see my blog list on the side of my page) thats called Sassy Apron Swap. Basically you make a super cute apron according to the rules, and you get a name of someone else...you then send them an apron that you made, along with a recipe or something. Well I figured before I committed to their new swap I better practice. So I made myself this apron, and I'm really happy how it turned out!




















Um I have no clue why blogger puts this picture sideways (its the right way when I upload it and some reason they rotate it, so you'll have to turn your head. Oh and heres a picture of me wearing it (my moms camera happy). I'm kind of all end of the day no make-up looking but eh thats ok.

Yay its me, I guess you can kind of see I've lost weight too cause my collar bones are more prominent and stuff. Anyway I just wanted to share my lovely creation :D

Summer Results Thusfar

So I have been trying really hard to eat well and work out since I've been home. Lets be honest its not like I have a job or anything to go to ha ha. I have been trying not to actually weigh myself because I find myself becoming very obsessed with the numbers. Anyway, when I left Utah I was a size 13/14 pants. Well now, today I went shopping with my mom, and I tried on pants at a store I quite often buy jeans from. They were a 9/10 and a little loose but not too bad so I tried on a 7/8 and I could barely button them, but nonetheless I could. The fact I couldn't breathe isn't important right? ;) Anyway that means I'm a size 8/9 (hey now I can make stuff up its my blog) and that I've lost like 2 and a half pant sizes since I started this whole work out thing sometime at the end of May. Not bad I say.

Side note, I just saw Kirby Heybourne from all the mormon movies in a Miller Lite Beer commercial...if thats not just a double standard I don't know what is.

None the less, I was very excited about my new size 7/8 pants that I'm determined to be able to breathe in by the end of the week. I think not working at Bulloch Drug surrounded by ice cream, candy, and soda is definitely a major cause of this wonderfulness. I get to go car shopping now, yay for cars!

Picture Survey!

Ok so apparently you have to answer this survey with pictures, which is different and fun. I tag anyone who reads this to do it ;)

My age next birthday:

My favorite Holiday

My favorite Food

My favorite Color

My Middle Name:

My Major

A Place I want to Visit

One of my Favorite Places

Bad Habit of Mine

My favorite Animal

I think this made me throw up just a little...

So I was reading something online and this article caught my eye. Really puts things into perspective I guess ha ha. Seriously, read all 20 things that are listed. The link I gave is to number 20.

20 Worst Foods

Courtesy of Men's Health.